I don't like crying....
But not for the usual reasons.
The reason I dislike crying is not because it makes me look weak, but because of the way I feel when I cry.
Everything seems to hit me from every direction and I feel overwhelmed, alone and like i'm in a dark pool which no one but me understands.
Recently however, I have been feeling particularly emotional given how life decided to just wallop me with situations that have struck a cord with me.
I am the type of person who speaks freely about emotions and crying because to me, it's natural.
I don't feel ashamed about my feelings because feelings are what makes me human, and sometimes it's only natural to cry.
Recently however when I mentioned to someone that something was making me a bit emotional, and that I almost cried, they looked at me like I was stupid and like I was not a proper man because of it.
I didn't care about it in the moment, but in retrospect it made me somewhat angry.
It made me angry because we live in a society where gender roles cause more harm than good, and the idiotic notion of a "real man" (which is the notion of what a man is supposed to be) creates unrealistic expectations and beliefs of what a man should be.
In reality, a man should be who the fuck he wants to be.
I am not here to fill someone's stereotype and role of what you believe a man should be. I am me, I will not be apologetic for admitting that things make me sad. I will not feel bad about crying over stuff when I feel like shit because sometimes crying is necessary and it actually makes you feel better afterwards.
Fuck your masculinity.
It's these societal ideals of "real men" or some crap about how guys are not meant to cry (because it is a sign of weakness) that ends up doing so much damage because people become scared to express how they really feel.
How narrow-minded is your notion of masculinity that crying is seen as weak??
Crying is natural. It's society that tells us it's not.
It is done to express feelings of happiness, sadness. frustration and anger but men seem to be taught that crying makes you weak. It has become this sign of weakness that people will manipulate and try to use against you.
If the society we live in wants to continue to spread this notion of some fucked up rules of masculinity that stops people from truly expressing their feelings without being shamed for it, then it is a society that I want nothing to do with.
I will cry when I want. Your notion of masculinity and "real men" be damned.
I repeat - Fuck your masculinity.
Theolin. Over and Out
PS- Here is a really cool photo series that shows soldiers crying.
Neringa Rekasiute and Beata Tiskevic-Hasanova’s photo project They Won the Lottery is a reaction to the new law (in which Lithuanian government reintroduced military conscription) ; it depicts young men in military uniform, crying, alongside their comments about masculinity. (see more here)
“We wanted to show how dangerous gender expectations are: A man is expected to be rational, emotionless and aggressive. It is very important that we, as a society, allow men to express their emotions and not force a stereotypical archaic role onto them.”
– Neringa Rekasiute
– Neringa Rekasiute