The Racist Interns

"Hello from the other side!!!"

That title is very misleading, because this has nothing to do with racist interns but rather the interns from the anti-racism campaign, “Racism Stops With Me” that my employer is running.

I’ve taken to calling them the racist interns because it’s shorter, easier and a little provocative if I am being honest. Of course everyone in the office gets a bit on edge when I call them the racist interns but it comes from a place mischievousness and affection.

It has been interesting having so many new interns in the office.

"Ooh child, can you not touch my jacket"

In January there was just a colleague, our team leader and I in our division, and then in February our team leader went on a 3 month course and it was just the two of us, followed by then in March when my colleague broke his hand and it essentially put him out for the whole month.

To save you a large rambling “woe is me” bit, things were rough and I was in a very dark overwhelming place (still in a dark place but that is more due to my emotional state than work). I don’t know how I survived March but I did.

So, things have been interesting time when contrasting how we are now with 4 permanent staffers in our office with 7 interns, and the number of people in our office is still set to grow. We’ve even needed to move out of our office.

Needless to say, things have drastically changed and there are quite a few people now.

What has been interesting and playing on my mind a lot is how I have reacted to all of this.

I was an intern myself up until the end of March and then became a permanent employee, and now I work in an office with interns. They joined us at the start of May, but it has been a very interesting few weeks since they came into the office.

There are so many personalities to get used to, and questions asked, things to be managed, and work that still needs to be done while all of us are still learning and finding out about each other.

Getting things turnt after work. We were hanging the next day.

The thing that has me a bit worried about myself is how motherly I’ve been around the interns. Yes, you read that right. I used the word motherly.

Working with the new interns has been great, I only call them interns because it is a collective term that makes it easier to refer to them than naming all of them (which props to myself, is something I can do because I made sure to learn their names within a day or two).

It feels nice to be in a place where you can share information and skills with each other. Part of the fun is how much I have learned from them as well, but something that I am trying to keep in check and from getting too out of hand is how motherly I have been with them.

I want them to succeed and do their very best. It won’t be easy because I know how it felt a year ago to be a position where you are doing things that you are still adjusting too and it can all be daunting. I want for them to feel appreciated and that that they are working in an environment they can enjoy.

The issue however, which is something I have to be mindful of, is being overbearing.

I can be very intense. I have that type of personality where I can be very intense, but it doesn’t always come out in typical ways. With the interns I feel like I am constantly checking on “if they are okay” and if they need help with anything.

These fools always on that "dropping the hottest mixtape" pose

I have over the past few days been easing up on it, and letting them do their own thing and hoping that instead they will come to me when the need my help, but that has made me worried that they might feel like I am distancing myself from them and that I have no interest in helping them.

I have been learning about myself, and I think that as exhausting as my self-awareness of my behaviour can be, it’s also advantageous. It certainly feels that way in this case.

My boss just gave us a talking to about this and actually pointed out that they will learn things in time. We can't baby them, because in all honesty, no one babied us.

We learned by trial and error.

I think I will ease up on the motherly thing quick enough without being too distanced and nonchalant, while also avoiding being overbearing.

I think what will be important for me to focus on will be remembering what I was doing and guide them along the way; but doing so in a way that that is beneficial for them and helping their own growth.

Also, before I lose perspective - I HAVE MY OWN WORK TO DO. Like duh.

But all thing considered, I am sure they won’t be the only one to grow from the experience.

Theo. Over and Out.

I surprised this guy with this photo. He was not impressed.
Sorry Balo.

PS - These are just some of the interns, not all. There wasn't enough space.

My Brother’s Surprise...

We live in a very material world, and it’s a world where we sometimes calculate how much someone loves us by how much money they spend on us.

It’s a sad reality, but it is the truth.

Money makes the world go round.

There is someone really special to me, and he is my brother. Not in any biological connection but he is family and I would do anything for him.

I have been friends with Byron since about Grade 10, which makes it 9 years. We joke that it’s both of our longest relationships ever, but it’s true. (I can’t even get a relationship to 5 months, never mind a year... but I digress).

He has always been there for me no matter what, he was always just accepting of me regardless of whatever else was going on.

I was also so lucky that his parents were very accepting of our friendship and welcomed me into their home. I have been through a lot with his family and I am glad to have had them be there for me when things were rough.

Byron's Brother Caleb

It’s been 9 years of ups and downs, good times and bad, and stories that will last us a lifetime.

We don’t see each other often and we don’t spend as much time together when he is around, but we have a bond that will always connect us. It’s what makes him my brother.

Last year October time, I decided that I wanted to say thank you to him with a gift, but I wanted it to be something worth more than just something I bought. So I happened to receive a picture frame and suddenly I had the idea of having it filled with memories and giving it to him.

 It took a while for me to finalise the whole thing because it was just an idea and in between all that life was happening. He was living his life that side at his lodge being a game ranger, while I was living mine being a journalist.

I then roped in the help of our friend Chelsea who I am also pretty grateful for, and she was so awesome because without her help I would not have been able to making the picture frame as great as it turned out.

I had planned to have given the gift to him as a Christmas present but because his parents were travelling to Namibia, he decided he would not come down to Cape Town during his week off and so then it just gave me more time to get it sorted.

I contacted his girlfriend around Christmas asking for her help with a few pictures, which was interesting because I had never even met or spoken to the girl before sending that message, but I had heard about her often enough for her to not feel like a total stranger.

She had managed to get pictures of him, without him realising the greater purpose behind it, and sent them to me.

So all the pictures had been chosen and Chelsea was too awesome because she came through and had it finished in time for his next off week.

Then came the issue of finding the time to give it to him.

What usually happens when Byron is in Cape Town on his off week, is that he is busy because all his friends and family all want to see him in some way, but there's not enough time for him to see everyone.

I had thought it was going to happen over the weekend but he had other plans so it wasn’t going to happen then, I had message my friend Chelsea even saying that if he pops around, give it to him because he is so busy and I am barely seeing him, but please just record it and take pictures.

She was like, “No way am I giving him this thing without you being here, fool.”

So she messaged him, and said something along the lines of “there is no way we are hanging out without Theo”, or something a little more tactful, but in any case she got it done. Haha. If there is anything I learned from this, it was that don’t underestimate the power of Chelsea.

So then along came Monday, got home from work, he called, picked me up and off to Chelsea we went to hang out.

Chelsea got us in, and showed me where it was without Byron realising. I had brought along a bow and wanted to stick onto the frame. I had to fake going to the bathroom just so I could get into her room to attach the bow.

After that, I walked out of her room with the frame in my hand anxiously waiting to give it to him. Byron was playing a game on my phone, and when I was standing there awkwardly waiting for his attention, he was all “Wait, I am playing this game”.

I just rolled my eyes and started talking:



I must say that the reaction I got from him was more than what I had hoped. It made me sooo damn happy seeing how much the gift meant to him. As rewarding as it is giving someone something, that tight arm crushing hug, and the total surprise had told me that I had done the right thing.

He loved it.

What I love about our friendship is that we say “I love you” to each other... and we do. I love him because he is family to me. No matter what, he will always be family. He is my brother.

We have both changed so much over the years and become such different people, each living our own lives. He has a life of his own away from me, and as much as I miss him, it makes me happy knowing that he is doing his own thing and enjoying it.

All I want for him is to be happy, and he is.

Also, if I got started on how awesome our friend Chelsea is then I would not end but I just wanted to give her a shout-out for her helping me and being a radically cool person.

The night I gave him the gift, we had spent the rest of the time in Chelsea’s home just hanging out and spending time. It is such moments with friends I will always cherish.

Earlier last week, after him having been without wifi and signal, he finally got back in contact with us, and I got around to asking him if he had hung up the picture frame.

Of course, I received a snarky response from him, but he showed me that it did go up.

It is hung

To my brother Byron - I hope that if you are reading this (you better be), you realise that I do really love you. I am so lucky to have someone like you in my life...you fool.

Stay awesome.

Theo. Over and Out.

PS - Your squeamishness whenever I bring up something sexually gay will forever amuse me. *chuckles*

Reaching The Ceiling

I’ve had a very busy week/end...

It was exciting and fun but exhausting.

I was so out of fumes that when I got invited to the Nicky Romero gig at Shimmy Beach on Saturday, I declined it, never mind that I also had plans to attend the Magents SA Menswear Week after party.

Again, crazy hey? How much fun would I have had just chilling, dancing and enjoying the cool exclusivity and access that my job affords me?

BUT, I was autopiloting because I hadn't been sleeping properly, I have been stressing about working on graphics for my work’s anti-racism campaign while still doing my usual day-to-day work routine, and covering SA Menswear Week
.

Granted the last bit, I brought on myself because I wanted to do the show again this year and also as a gay man, I love staring and talking to hot guys.

He was in the local production of Rocky Horror. His name is Shaun Chad Smit.

SA Menswear Week was a fish-out-of-water experience for me the last time, the second time around, it was the same except that I felt more comfortable in my odd-man-out role which made me enjoy the experience all the more.

I went to university with the lovely gentleman. Find him: @Brat_M_

It was a lot of fun just experiencing everything that goes into a fashion week and the crazy outfits you see, the amazing designers you witness, and the models you fall in lust with. 

Boy did I fall in lust. Haha.

Eden Classens

My only regret from the experience was that I wasn’t brave enough to ask the number of the guy I was attracted to, regardless of whether he was team homo or not, asking him would have hurt no one...but I didn’t because well duh, he was a model and I’m a awkward, guy who gets shy and flustered.

It was a miracle in and of itself that I was able to get selfies with the hot boys.

My job is fun, I get to meet cool people and do cool things that I typically wouldn’t like interview Jean de Villiers and Nicky Romero, meet F.W de Klerk, the J&B Met and the colour run. It is all experiences that I am grateful for but sometimes it can be exhausting.

I think the most important thing I learned this week was to know my limit.

I am glad that while I got to have invites and experience all these things, I know when I have reached my limit and that is a big thing for me. I would like to think that I work hard, sometimes it doesn’t feel that way, but I do try my best. 

Knowing when I have reached my ceiling is important thing for me to realise because everything I work on at that point is just without love and I am just running on autopilot – there is no desire to do my best, only to get it done.

Don’ run on autopilot, it’s important to take care of yourself. I don’t always take care of myself, but I am learning. 

You only have one you, so try not ruining yourself.

Theo. Over and Out.

What I love about this picture was that I started pulling some crazy eyes, and he played along....

PS – To the super hot Eden Classens, you are so sweet and seem like a cool guy, I know you’re probably like super busy, dating other models, but if you ever want to go for coffee  with a shy-ish awkward guy who will make you laugh (I at least have that going for me) and then hit me up.

It hurts, but it's okay...

I had a bit of rough day yesterday...

It was one of those days when you feel overwhelmed by life. I have a laundry list of things that needs to be done but it feels like I don’t have enough time to get it done. Also it doesn’t help that I put pressure on myself to do all the things that I set out.

I have constantly felt like I haven’t worked hard enough to achieve all the things that I should. I looked around at those my age who have achieved so much and I can't help but feel like I could be doing more, working harder, trying to get to that next stage of my life.

I have to sort out my driver’s this year, possibly find a new permanent job (which can afford me the luxury of moving out) if my current employment can't keep me on –which would suck because I like where I work – but all that aside, there is also the creative person in me who has written three novels and wants to see one of them become published in my lifetime.

My life has followed my loose plan (if I can even call it a plan) thus far and I am so scared of easing up on pursuing my plans because then as soon as I give in it mind lead me to feeling stagnant.

All of these feelings have been compounded by the fact that it never feels like I have enough time to accomplish what I set out.

It leaves me feeling overwhelmed because time flies by and I don’t want to wake up one day feeling like I never made the best of my life. I want to travel, and to take my mother with me because it is something we have never experienced but only dreamed of.

When most your friends have travelled and been able to experience a new countries and cultures, but all you have are pictures, ideas and fantasies of these places, it leaves this gaping feeling like I’m missing out on this educational and changing experience...but the thing is I don’t want to do it because I have fomo (fear of missing out), I want to do it because it is has been this life long goal.

Not only that, it is something that my mother and my entire family has dreamed of for me. The joy I see in their face because they are proud of me makes me happy. The pressure does feel overwhelming, but when all these people have had such faith in you – more than what you might have in yourself - the last thing you want to do is let them down.

It was hard for me when I came out as gay because, while it was freeing to finally acknowledge this intrinsic part of me that I could no longer deny, the look of disappointment from my family hurt because when you only have showed them the best of you, seeing that disappointment at what they think is the worst of you kills a part you.

I think in some ways it has contributed towards being this driving force for me in wanting that domestic bliss with the picket fence, the husband, the children and dogs I want to show them that living this “lifestyle” is not going to lead me down some depraved road but instead can lead me to one of my biggest success of my life.

I struggle with being gay still, I hide it well between jokes and innuendos and etc but it is not something that I always feel comfortable with because it was one of the things that drove me from Christianity, I also haven’t found that community that I feel entirely a part of and so I just drift along.

The gay friends I have are those I knew before they came out of picked up one or two others from other friends but in my group of friends I am that gay one. That is my title. Typically the only other gay people I usually make friends with are the ones I date.

I have been feeling so frustrated about this being single but a part of me feels that it is for that very reason why I need to be single. Being in a relationship for the sake of it or because a person feels lonely only does more harm than good in the long term.

I had spoken to my friend about this and she aptly captured how I was feeling because she could relate to it:

“It is difficult being in a situation where you want something but the wanting that something becomes the reason why you can’t have it. It’s the stupidest little conundrum. The lesson though is probably that you need to become content with your life as it is to be in the best place to share it with someone...”

It is a frustrating circular situation to be in because you could very well be self-sabotaging yourself.

Also there is this fact that I never feel like I have enough time for my friends and it sucks because they have always been there for me but I barely have had the time (or energy) to write this blog post but I had to commit. Hopefully I will find a way to do better.

So much of what I feel can be so exhausting and I try to not overthink things because it only makes me depressed. I try to be the relaxed and level headed Theo who smiles a lot and wants to make people smile because life can already be depressing enough but I don’t always win that battle.

It is why I am grateful for work, books and series that entertain me because it all forces me to focus on a task and not get too far into my own head. Sometimes you can be your own worst enemy...

I had thought this was going to be a blog post that followed smoothly but my mind had other things in mind so I apologise for the sometimes muddle train of thought this post went on. As I said, yesterday was a rough day.

Hopefully things will feel better.


Theo. Over and Out.

Sense 8: The must see show...

I recently completed watching a show called “Sense 8” which is from the Wachowski siblings who brought us “Matrix”, “Jupiter Ascending”, and “Cloud Atlas” to name a few.  They are type of directors who don’t just want to reproduce the same old thing for people to consume and come up with an inventive and imaginative way to tell a story.

Their work doesn’t always connect with some people though, which is why the siblings have recently taken the route that many blockbuster directors who have had recent bombs do –go to TV.

It worked very well for M. Night Shyamalan who after bombing with After Earth turned to TV and struck gold with his TV show “Wayward Pines” (which I strongly recommend you binge watch because the story is just so compelling).

Getting back on track, basically the Wachowskis realised that the movie format wasn’t working for them and so they went to Netflix to try telling their imaginative stories.

In my opinion, this was a damn brilliant decision.

Sense 8, which the Wachowski siblings executive produce alongside J.Michael Straczynski, telling the stories of 8 strangers from across the globe who become connected to each other.

As viewer, you embark on a 12 episode journey with these characters and each of their narratives as they help, console and teach each other.  They have to learn how to cope with being able to have access to the knowledge, emotions, feelings and senses of 7 other people.

I have compiled a list of reasons why more people should be watching Sense 8. I am not going to lie that if you want something that will give you all the answers from episode one then you might struggle watching the show. The show takes the first half of the season building the relationships with each of the characters and establishing their own lives (which is no small feat). By the time the action gets rolling, you really feel connected to their story and your investment is rewarded.

1. Stereotypical Race Representation

The show delivers characters who you have seen across a few TV shows but never in one show, never mind them even interacting with each other. The show includes characters from America, Korea, Iceland, India, Mexico, Kenya and Germany.  The cast varies in nationality, skin colour and language. The show tries, and succeeds to break down the stereotypes of characters that we usually see. You have a representation of Nairobi (Kenya) that depicts not only how gang dominated the country is, but also how complicated the characters that live there are.

They aren’t just stereotypes that we see on screen but rather people living complicated lives. The same goes for the Korean character, Sun. 

Sun is working in a pharmaceutical firm run by her father and brother. You see that she smokes and she is not scared to beat someone’s ass, but yet, she sacrifices her freedom to protect her brother. Their narratives are something we would never typically see in an American produced TV show, never mind the fact that these characters even interact with each other.

http://thelionmutters.tumblr.com/post/132082213124/netflixsense8-kala-can-i-ask-you-a-question

2. Unlikely Character Interactions

Sun (from Korea) interacts not only with Capheus (from Kenya) but also Kala (India), Lito (Mexico) and Riley (Iceland). This is just how one character interacts with characters from across the globe within the show. Each character gets to “visit” (as the show calls it) the others sometime throughout the span of the 12 episodes, and as a viewer it is a joy to witness. Interactions between characters of colour or interactions with characters of different nationalities (that you would never typically see happen) occur frequently on Sense 8.  This show doesn’t just do it to be a gimmick, but does it to tell a story, with exciting outcomes. As a viewer of colour from South Africa, I appreciate seeing someone like Capheus and his best friend interacting on screen because while I might not be from Kenya, there are some bits of their story that I as an African can relate to.

http://thelionmutters.tumblr.com/post/132077948359/netflixsense8gifs-you-are-the-spirit-of

3. Interconnectedness

Sense 8 succeeds for me because it deals with how interconnected we are.  We all want to believe that there is someone out there in the world that can relate to us, be it romantically or just another person.

Sense 8 takes that ideal and transcends it.  Two of the characters sometimes are dealing with the same emotion in a different way but the show puts them together and when you witness how they learn from each other and are talking about their various challenges it is becomes captivating.

Sometimes someone close to you could be going through something that you went through already, and since you might know exactly how they feel, you can still relate to them. Sense 8 excels in this regard.

One of my favourite sequence’s comes from episode 4 where the Sense 8’s are singing “What’s Up?” by 4 Non Blondes. They all share the experiences but in a very different way. Some happy, some sad, and one being drunk, but it just works in depicting how interconnected they are to each other.

There is some dialogue that Kala says in episode 7 that I just love because of how it describes their connection:

“If I was trying to describe this feeling - the sensation of experiencing the  warmth of the sun, the smell of jasmine and marigold; while at the same time being soaked by a downpour at an outdoor cafe. Taste of strong coffee still in my mouth...I would say the word miracle sounds particularly appropriate. Wouldn’t you?”

http://thelionmutters.tumblr.com/post/132075070824

4. Queerness

The show also impresses me for how it fearlessly tackles LGBT themes, which I adore. Lito is a closeted telenova star living with his boyfriend Hernando. Nomi is a transgendered woman who has been with her girlfriend for a long time. Sense 8 doesn’t just have one LGBT character to fill some type of quota, but rather it has two whose stories are depicted equally as those of the heterosexual characters on the show. Sense 8 shows that LGBT live lives full of love, struggle and heartache. It is a complex depiction of the lives of those with the LGBT community that don’t fit into any particular mould.

http://thelionmutters.tumblr.com/post/132078957159

5. Sexuality

Sexuality is EXTREMELY apparent in this show. We see the transgendered woman making love to her girlfriend within the first episode of the show, but it is really in episode 6 where this particular aspect of the show takes off because it does this to show how connected the Sense 8’s are. When two of the Sense 8’s simultaneously happen to be having sex, and another is feeling horny, it ended up having a ripple effect which the show handles by showing some of the Sense8’s engaged in not an orgy. But an orgy that is simultaneously taking place in Germany, Mexico and USA, all while none of them are in the same place. It is less trippy than what it sounds. They feel each other’s pleasure to such an extent, one of the Sense 8’s who is in America orgasms while working out but another Sense 8 in Mexico exclaims that “I just had one the best orgasms of my life.” It is really just a spectacle to watch, and it is really enjoyable to watch because you understand their connection to each other in a way that you may not have before.

http://thelionmutters.tumblr.com/post/132078534909

6. Religion/Science

The show does not shy away from show religion either. Kala in India is shown to be a scientist who is also a devout Hindu. We are often shown scenes in which Kala prays to the Ganesha (a Hindu god) to help her with a particular problem that she is seeking clarification on. It is refreshing and as someone who knows very little about the Hindu religion, it is extremely exciting and engaging to watch.

In episode 7 she says:

“My love for science doesn’t preclude my faith. For me, science is another language we use to talk about the same miracle that faith talks about.”

Also with the whole idea of 8 people being connected, the show deals with how it has an impact on science. The Sense 8’s are suggested to be another form of homosapien, and it goes onto much further elaboration than I will here. The show isn’t pitting these two sectors against each other but rather, allowing them to work in cohesion with one another as it pushes the seasonal arc forward.

7. Romances

The show has the longstanding relation between Nomi/Amanita at the start, and the reason why their relationship is engaging because you see a gay woman of colour in a long term relationship with a white transgendered woman; Lito and his boyfriend Hernando are the two Mexican gay men also committed to each other. The show then has the romance of Riley (the DJ from Iceland) and Will (the police officer from USA), in the fore front driving the story following their newfound connection. Their story has major consequences for the plot and is lovely to watch.

http://thelionmutters.tumblr.com/post/132078417269/martinlydias-every-pairing-i-love-15

Kala’s romance saga proved to be equally exciting for me as you have an Indian woman who is about to get married to a guy who is perfect for her, but can’t help falling in love with the German diamond thief (who enjoys being naked) but also has a heart of gold. I loved becoming engrossed in their love story because they represent two people who couldn’t be more different from each, yet can’t help taking a liking to each other.

8. Flaws

Of course like any show, Sense 8 is not without its flaws. Sometimes throughout the show the 12 episodes does feels like a limit given that if the show had more time, they may have been able to flesh out the connections a bit more. There’s also one or two times when Sense 8’s who have never met, take to meeting each other without much fanfare, and like it’s no big deal.

Maybe the show could be saying that some of the Sense 8 took to their newfound connection to strangers with ease, but that seems like a stretch. Sure we do meet some people who feel like we have known them forever but sharing thoughts and feelings with them would at least be a “WTF” moment regardless of who you are.

The villain of show also needed to be more 3 dimensional and less like a guy who wants to just kill them. Hopefully the second season of the show will get into giving the villain a substantial expansion if we are to truly feel threatened for the Sense 8’s. What made him want to kill the Sense 8’s? Power? Control? Or Scientific reasons?

The show did a good job of interweaving of the stories of the Sense 8’s but they could be handled better. On occasion when watching it does feel like the show is struggling to find a way to connect the characters but for the most part, it does well.

Some people have complained about how the show excluded some of the non-white characters from the orgy scene. However this may have been a scheduling issue or logistics. The show films across the globe and as a result, they may not have had all the actors present and available at all times. Perhaps not everyone was available to shoot the orgy scene, or opted out of being the scene for personal reasons but this seems like a minor flaw given how the show is doing more for representation of non-white heterosexual characters than almost half the TV shows from America these days.

Despite its flaws, Sense 8 is a show the likes of which is hardly if ever seen. I finally get to see complex characters of colour and sexuality and not just the typical white characters that are so often fed to us from Hollywood.

I strongly encourage each and everyone to give the first 6 episodes a watch. If after that you aren’t feeling the show, then at least you tried.

As for me, I will impatiently wait for season 2 to find out more of the story about these interesting and never before seen 8 characters.

I hope that Season 2 stays focused on these 8 characters and not want to introduce too much too soon.


Theo Over and Out.

PS - Here is the trailer to Wayward Pines if you are interested. (BUT ONLY AFTER SENSE 8 !!!!!)