That title is very misleading, because this has nothing to do with racist interns but rather the interns from the anti-racism campaign, “Racism Stops With Me” that my employer is running.
I’ve taken to calling them the racist interns because it’s shorter, easier and a little provocative if I am being honest. Of course everyone in the office gets a bit on edge when I call them the racist interns but it comes from a place mischievousness and affection.
It has been interesting having so many new interns in the office.
"Ooh child, can you not touch my jacket"
In January there was just a colleague, our team leader and I in our division, and then in February our team leader went on a 3 month course and it was just the two of us, followed by then in March when my colleague broke his hand and it essentially put him out for the whole month.
To save you a large rambling “woe is me” bit, things were rough and I was in a very dark overwhelming place (still in a dark place but that is more due to my emotional state than work). I don’t know how I survived March but I did.
So, things have been interesting time when contrasting how we are now with 4 permanent staffers in our office with 7 interns, and the number of people in our office is still set to grow. We’ve even needed to move out of our office.
Needless to say, things have drastically changed and there are quite a few people now.
What has been interesting and playing on my mind a lot is how I have reacted to all of this.
I was an intern myself up until the end of March and then became a permanent employee, and now I work in an office with interns. They joined us at the start of May, but it has been a very interesting few weeks since they came into the office.
There are so many personalities to get used to, and questions asked, things to be managed, and work that still needs to be done while all of us are still learning and finding out about each other.
Getting things turnt after work. We were hanging the next day.
The thing that has me a bit worried about myself is how motherly I’ve been around the interns. Yes, you read that right. I used the word motherly.
Working with the new interns has been great, I only call them interns because it is a collective term that makes it easier to refer to them than naming all of them (which props to myself, is something I can do because I made sure to learn their names within a day or two).
It feels nice to be in a place where you can share information and skills with each other. Part of the fun is how much I have learned from them as well, but something that I am trying to keep in check and from getting too out of hand is how motherly I have been with them.
I want them to succeed and do their very best. It won’t be easy because I know how it felt a year ago to be a position where you are doing things that you are still adjusting too and it can all be daunting. I want for them to feel appreciated and that that they are working in an environment they can enjoy.
The issue however, which is something I have to be mindful of, is being overbearing.
I can be very intense. I have that type of personality where I can be very intense, but it doesn’t always come out in typical ways. With the interns I feel like I am constantly checking on “if they are okay” and if they need help with anything.
These fools always on that "dropping the hottest mixtape" pose
I have over the past few days been easing up on it, and letting them do their own thing and hoping that instead they will come to me when the need my help, but that has made me worried that they might feel like I am distancing myself from them and that I have no interest in helping them.
I have been learning about myself, and I think that as exhausting as my self-awareness of my behaviour can be, it’s also advantageous. It certainly feels that way in this case. My boss just gave us a talking to about this and actually pointed out that they will learn things in time. We can't baby them, because in all honesty, no one babied us. We learned by trial and error.
I think I will ease up on the motherly thing quick enough without being too distanced and nonchalant, while also avoiding being overbearing.
I think what will be important for me to focus on will be remembering what I was doing and guide them along the way; but doing so in a way that that is beneficial for them and helping their own growth. Also, before I lose perspective - I HAVE MY OWN WORK TO DO. Like duh.
But all thing considered, I am sure they won’t be the only one to grow from the experience.
Theo. Over and Out.
I surprised this guy with this photo. He was not impressed.
Sorry Balo.
PS - These are just some of the interns, not all. There wasn't enough space.
This is part of my update and retrospect series that I am
randomly starting because I have been so busy that it feels like I am losing
touch with my life and my emotions. This is more for my sanity than anything
else really. Also it is a way to keep the people updated about how I am without
giving them a generic answer. Often we all use copy and paste explanations
because we are too lazy to articulate how we really feel.
I thought that I would start off with the thing that has
affected me most, then I would get onto the rest. First up is this post, then
work and then friends and then music or something random. Whatever floats my
boat really. We shall see.
Break-up epiphanies
So because of my tendency to get all emotional
and attached, I fell for my ex-boyfriend very quickly. (Yes, we dated for a little over a month, sue me. Was I in love? No, but
I was on my way).
Recently however, I had an epiphany. My tendency to only
want to see the good in people, results in me often idealising them and missing
their flaws. The same thing happened with my relationship.
I have spoken about my ownership of fault in the relationship before but for a long time I felt like the break-up was
more my fault than his, which I realise now is not true. To claim more fault is
actually unfair to me.
The break-up was both our fault.
One of the flaws in our relationship, was that I wasn’t
given the time I needed to adjust to a vital fact about him. This vital fact
actually had a big impact on our relationship. I would be less vague and
disclose what this fact is, but it’s not for me to share. He wouldn’t have a
problem with it, but I feel like it is not my place.
That aside, this fact was an important factor in our
relationship and I was on a steep learning curve of how to deal with this. It
was unfair to me to not give me the right amount of time I needed to process.
I do realise that I should have taken the relationship
slower and been more patient with him, but that aside, I deserved to be given
some time to learn about this fact.
He pulled a douchebag move.
Now, I am not saying that he is a douchebag (even though I would
be expected to), but he pulled a douchebag move. There's a difference - everybody pulls a douchebag move.
That was not the only douchebag move he pulled.
He then felt the need
that in our break-up to say that I was emotionally manipulating him. This was
one of the things that hurt the absolute most because it was a major insult to
my character.
It was insulting because obviously he didn’t know me well
enough.
I have seen how emotional manipulations looks, asking
someone to not throw in the towel yet
was not it.
For him to think I was emotionally manipulating him, when in
actuality I was fighting for our relationship, was like he spat in my face. I
have too much on my plate and things happening in my life to waste time manipulating
people.
Another issue was that he really sucked at communication, and
he used the “I am a scientist” excuse. I get that he was genius science boffin
but that does not excuse him from being a human.
All I asked for was honesty about how he was feeling – even
if it was not something I wanted to hear, then I still wanted him to tell me.
But he didn’t...
Except when he was
breaking up with me – that was when I got quite a bit of honesty.
That aside, me calling him out on his douchebag moves does
not mean that he is one.
From his perspective, he was trying to deal.
Sure he could’ve handled the situation better, but he was
doing what he thought was best for him.
The factor in our relationship (that I mentioned above), was
something that he was dealing with daily, and I guess that he didn’t want to
feel like he was forcing me to deal with the issue. My problem was that I
wanted to be there to help, but apparently my help wasn’t good enough.
The more I wanted to help, the more he didn’t want my help.
Also, I am guessing that he had no clue how to deal with
someone who inherently is a more emotional person than him, and that scared
him. I assume he felt overwhelmed.
I can also understand
how from his perspective I could have been clingy...but if seeing someone every
two weeks is clingy, then damn.
I feel like in the
end, the only way he could get himself to break away was to hurt me enough so
that I would want to let him go. It worked.
Issues aside, I appreciate the relationship we had.
He was a good guy, flawed (like me and everyone else in this
world) but a good guy.
He was a lovely guy who made me laugh a lot. He has a deep
love for tea, enjoys staring at the moon sometimes during the day because it is
an awesome mindfuck. He has a great fondness for Harry Potter, loves sad poetry
and the Universe at large.
He even likes this adorable little Red Panda.
He was impressive below the belt too – not going to lie.
He made me smile
every day and he was considerate (even getting me my own tin of coffee when he
only drinks tea.)
Those are only a few of things that he did for me. He made
me very happy in the short time we were together and that is something I will
always remember and cherish.
He was lovely, and one day I hope that he makes someone
very happy. All I want is from him to be happy.
That is all I want for everyone in life actually.
I have said this before, and I will say this again. I would
sacrifice my happily-ever-after, if it meant that everyone else in the world
had no more problems forever.
Is that unrealistic? Yes. Would I bitch and moan? Sure.
Would it all be worth the sacrifice? Absolutely.
The world’s problems are greater than what I am, and if I
could fix it forever? How could I not?
My relationship with my ex-boyfriend taught me a lot. One of
the lessons was that I have to be mindful of the fact that when I like someone,
I like them and not what they represent.
I feel like this is a issue that many people face, not just
me but that sometimes we get caught up in what people represent and not focus
on who they are as people. Be sure that when you are in a relationship or are
starting something with someone, that you are doing it for them and not what
role that you want them to fill.
That is not right or fair to them.
As for the ex-boyfriend - am I over him? I don’t know.
I went to "our" restaurant this past week and I wasn’t sad
about being there, but I did hope that by some random serendipity that he would
walk in. Lame right?
But maybe that is another lesson that I will learn, I will
never really be over him but I just need to find a way to move on. Sometimes
not everything resolves itself nicely.
There was equal blame in the end of our relationship and I
made many mistakes too, but I am learning.
All I know is that my priority is taking each day as it
comes, and I am enjoying it. Sure work is kicking my ass but I don’t mind (too
much) because I have learned so much. I am exhausted and feel like I need to
take a week off (which I will be doing soonish) but it is really rewarding.
I think work reaffirmed to me that I’ve always been the
person who I thought I am. Sure I may not always know who that is, but for damn
sake, I am only 22...er... almost 23.
"I am what I am... a natural disaster." - Shark Attack by Grouplove.
I try my best to be good person, and try to make everyone’s
day a little better. Sometimes I get shy and get into my own bubble too much or
on the reverse side get too excitable but otherwise I am trying my best.
We are all trying our best with the lives we were given.
Sometimes we need to cut ourselves a little slack.
Theolin. Over and
Out.
PS - Devils Advocate: What if I am being the overly attached weirdo who can't let go because we only dated for over a month? No one wants to be that person. He has moved on as if nothing happened I think while I am...still trying. Maybe I am just overanalysing.
March was all about new experiences because I started my
first ever job.
April has been pretty
much the same...
BUT April was more about feeling extremely out of my depth
and feeling more incompetent than anything really.
Part One: “Why am I so useless?”
After working extremely hard at the Jazz Festival, we pretty
much jumped into the new month by being assigned to spend two weeks in the
newsroom and work on our writing skills.
If there was ever a time to be thrown into the deep end it
was during this time.
With the Jazz fest I could at least take comfort in the fact
that there were other people equally feeling out of their depth and having no
clue what we were doing but we were all stuck in the same boat, doing the best
we could.
The newsroom was nothing like that because I was on my own.
If there is a ever a time to feel useless and like you’re
incompetent spend some time in a newsroom where you are a stranger at your desk
trying to make yourself useful while trying to not be in the way of experienced
reporters.
I was assigned to the newsroom of The Daily Voice when my Cape Mojo team started time in the
newspapers started.
The Daily Voice often gets given this label as not being a
hard hitting newspaper because they deal with stuff that comes across as silly
and deemed not newsworthy. I am aware the publication is labelled as a "tabloid" but that doesn't mean that there isn't anything of importance and value in the paper that the hard hitting newspapers do. The only difference is the angles taken in their stories.
The Daily Voice go out on stories that people
within the Cape Flats are interested in and also want to read about. If a newspaper is meant to connect with its target market
and inform them about what’s happening in their areas then The Daily Voice is
doing exactly what it should it.
It was recently revealed in AMPS figures (which is a big fancy group that does a survey on readership) that in the
second half of 2014, the Daily Voice readership grew from
468 000 daily readers to 516 000.
In climate where newspapers are battling against the internet, that is very impressive.
I can really say that I learned a lot about my time at the newspaper.
Newspapers don’t just appear every morning magically created
for your consumption, in fact journalists go out the day before either on
stories that they were assigned by their editor or, what is often the case,
they go out on stories they’ve been informed about from contacts and people who
shared the information with them.
They scout out information about their stories and then once
they think there is enough they go out in search of what the true story is,
from all the relevant sources.
A super funny reporter I sat opposite.
This can be quite a laborious process and sometimes things
don’t always go your way but you do the best you can.
Part Two: “What to do when opportunity
knocks?”
I had been shadowing the reporters for about a day when an
opportunity for me to write my first article came up.
It wasn’t that a story was assigned to me or anything, it
happened because I took a chance.
This is just my version of how I remembered it happening:
Journalist:
“I still have to file both these
stories when I get back to the office.”
Me:
(Nervously)
“Uhm...I can help...uhm... if you want. I’ll
write one and you can write another if you want?”
Photographer:
(Jokingly)
“Hey don’t come and try to steal
food from [journalist’s] mouth, freelancers don’t a set salary like you. They
get paid per article.”
Me:
“Oh sorry, of course I don’t mean
to do that –laughs awkwardly- I just
thought that I could help with the workload.”
Journalist:
“We can share the byline.”
Photographer:
“Can you? Do you still get your
normal rate?”
Journalist:
“I still get my normal rate
whenever I share a byline with [another journalist] so it’s fine. Which one do
you want to do?”
Me:
“I feel more confident doing the
first story the first one we went out on so I can do that?”
Journalist:
“That’s fine. You can do the
first then just send it to me when you’re done so I can have a look over it?”
Me:
“Thanks.”
And that was basically how it happened.
I took the chance of speaking up and saying,” I don’t mind
helping; I can do it” and that was how I landed my first byline.
As soon as we got back to the office I had to write my
article and while I had all my notes, I had no clue how I was going to do it.
Eventually I typed down what I had into a coherent sentence
which then into paragraphs and it led to a completed story.
Part Three: “Who does the editing?”
Once done, I emailed what I had to the journalist and sat
beside them as they make hectic revisions, learning about the newspaper’s style
in the process:
1.The fact that they prefer to have more quotes of
what the people actually said instead of you telling the reader what they said.
I quickly learned to write fast and take down what some said. I would come to use
my phone as a recorder because that just helps you so much to get down what
someone says verbatim.
2.Framing the story in a particular way, meaning
that instead of having one angle, you use another.
3.Getting a comment from the official
organisation/people to add in another side to the story.
4.Making sure you have the correct spelling of
things – Sidenote, this is vitally important you have to make sure you get
someone’s name and surname spelt exactly correct, make sure you get where they
are from and also their age.
5.A journalist’s note taking skills have is where
your credibility can live or die. If someone wants to sue you, you’re note
taking could be the very thing that saves you.
The edit the journalist did helped a lot, and while my
original story changed a lot to the one they sent to the editor my name still
remained in the byline because I had contributed to the story.
I thought that what I had ended up contributing was a waste but
the journalist thanked me because I helped save them a lot of time. So our
article was then emailed to the editor.
Interesting to note that the article that appeared in paper
had also undergone significant edits to it as well but there was also quite a
large chunk of what we did and in the end we received our shared byline.
One that would be my first.
Part Four: “When? Now??”
Sure some see a solo byline as their first, but I see the
shared one as my first because it taught me so much and helped me when I
finally wrote my first solo byline which funny enough came the following week.
I arrived early in the office because it was just something
I did. I could have arrived late because everyone only got into the office
between 09:20 and 11:00. I was in by 08:40 so I just read the papers and tried
be aware of what was happening.
One this particular morning, a photographer came in and he
was about 5 minutes in the office when
he came up to me and said.
Photographer:
“I heard Tony Yengeni was making
an appearance in the magistrate court today and no other journalist is in. I’m
not sure if it’s something the paper would be interested in but I say we take a
chance and go? If we wait too long then the story could be over already, it
could be over already, but at least let’s go see.”
Me:
“Uhm, okay.”
Now while that response seems calm, my mind was racing at a
mile a minute.
I had no clue what I was doing, no clue of what I was going
to do when I got at the court and no clue of how I would get the story but
adrenalin and nerves were rushing through my body so I just went along.
As we made our way to the magistrate court, the photographer
was giving me a crash course in court reporting:
1.Make sure you nod to the judge as you enter.
This is very important.
2.Sometimes things might be confusing if you’re
arriving late so don’t be scared to ask fellow journalists what is happening.
3.Put your phone off or keep it on silent because
you can be in deep shit if they catch you recording anything.
4.All the information is in the court, you just
need to know the correct places to go find it.
And he explained more stuff which I have forgotten because I
was like “oh my fuck, this is happening.”
So we get to the court and then he says well go for it.
I’m like “oh okay, shit.”
I then rush inside only to see “oh damn I had to hand in
everything” so I dash back drop my bag and only keep my wallet, phone, pen and
notebook on me as I have to dash to courtroom 16 –which we learned from another
journalist outside.
I got in and as the security guard is patting me down, and he
feels a tag (which I forgot to take off). I explain it’s my UCT tag and then he
starts a chat about the fact that I went to UCT. It was great but his timing
sucked.
I got inside and then I had to find my way.
I turned down a passage and then got the
vibe I was going the wrong way, I turned back and stopped at a security desk
asking which way I had to go to get to the Tony Yengeni court case. She
directed me down the alley, and as I enter I see a throng of people coming my
way surrounding someone.
I had no clue what Tony Yengeni looked like, well in my
subconscious I probably did but in my conscious mind I had no clue. I turned
back and followed the people because my gut was all go with them.
I exited the court with all the journalists and I was about
to follow the man who I thought to be Mr Yengeni but the reporters were by his
lawyer so I just stuck with them.
I knew there was no way I was going to catch all the
information as quickly so I immediately did the only thing I could think to do
and just pulled out my phone started recording everything.
The fact that I did that earned me my first solo byline.
The other reporters asked questions and I made sure to catch
everything while I was totally confused because they were using lawyer terminology
I just recorded everything.
The lawyer finished and I had no clue what his name was so I
asked one of the other reporters who told me his name and that was it.
In 10 minutes everything was done.
The photographer took his picture and so we just went back
to the office.
My editor hadn’t been in for two days and I now had a story
with which I had no clue what to do with. The editor of the paper was in and so
I summoned the courage to make myself known to him and tell him what I had.
He said okay and that I should write him a short piece on
it.
I then got down to listening to the recording transcribing
everything while opening a million tabs on Google Chrome so I could research
more about the story (something which would have helped had I had the time to
do it before hand but I didn’t).
After that I remembered, I had no clue what the editor meant
by “short piece” so after I asked him he said 200-220 words.
After that I got to it and finished my story within an hour
and 15 minutes making sure I had everything I needed. Understanding everything
that the lawyer spoke and getting input from another journalist to frame the
article in an interesting way.
That was it.
My story got filed and appeared in the paper.
All because I happened to be in the office early and was the
only one there that by pure coincidence I managed to land my first solo byline.
Part 5: “Where am I now?”
The rest of my time at the paper had my shadowing reporters
and even writing two other articles when the opportunities presented
themselves.
It was a great experience and taught me so much. I had made
a few mistakes and made sure to learn from them, but it was a experience that
forced me to go out of my comfort zone.
If there has been anything that this month has taught me
it’s that I have to embrace the awkward moments.
My job is filled with them- attending the funeral of someone
I never knew or met, asking strangers questions and for their names and ages,
getting into awkward places (like kneeling in front of people to hold a
microphone, and sometimes that people may be the Mayor of Cape Town) and many
other awkward instances that will continued to happen.
My only next thing to learn is to not give a shit about
them.
That doesn’t mean I won’t be respectful and treat some
situations carefully, but I just need to focus on doing my job.
I am only two months into being a journalist and it’s been
like climbing a Kilimanjaro without any preparation, but that aside, everything
I have been doing is preparing me to become better equip to be not just a
journalist but a good one too.
If I’m being honest, I feel like I could have done more
while I spent time at the news papers. As I look back at the time I’m still not
entirely sure how I could’ve done that, but I feel like I could have done more.
I also feel like I need to rediscover how to be curious.
I used to be a very curious kid and want to know what was
happening but I was raised that being nosy about other people’s business was
wrong. Now I feel like I have found the curious person again, he is still there
because I still feel glimpses of him peeking through whenever something
exciting happens.
I just need to allow him to come out more. (Yes, I’m
speaking about aspects of myself in third person, it happens)
As a journalist, a skill you need is to be able to ask the
right questions.
An important lesson I
learned at University and The Daily Voice is that you need to remember your
5W’s and H:
1.Why?
2.What?
3.Who?
4.When?
5.Where?
6.How?
These will do really help and they exist for a reason*.
Sometimes sticking to these will lead you to a story that could give you the
edge.
Part 6: How to Mojo...
After finishing my time at the papers, I rejoined the Mojo
(Mobile Journalism) group of the company and it was more difficult that it needed
to be.
I would pop in and check in on my fellow colleagues while we
spent time at the paper but someone our two weeks apart had left us feeling
disjointed.
Maybe it was the fact that we had just clicked with each
other when we had so many other people join us for jazz fest and we had to
learn how to work with strangers and not get so much time together with each
other; then we had two weeks apart which just left us to do our own thing but
either way, coming together again felt weird and we were out of sync with each
other.
A week has passed and I feel like we’re good again. We are
getting back to where we were with each other and getting familiar with one
another again but such is life, sometimes things can take a while.
A video I helped put together...
The fact that we were out of sync with each other made me
feel a bit weird and uncomfortable too but sometimes you just have to have a
word with yourself in the mirror and “pull yourself towards yourself”.
I am excited for what the next few months hold ahead for us.
If the past two months are indicative of anything it is that
expect the unexpected and that life will had you unexpected moments that lead
to wonderful experiences so don’t be scared to step out of your comfort zone
because that is really where the magic happens.
Now if only I could remember that...
Theo. Over and
Out.
*PS - The order is
wrong on that but on purpose because I wanted it to match the sections of the
blog post. (><)
Also in case you are
wondering since I removed the journalist’s name from the byline in the pic, I
am very grateful to the journalist because the person is really so so lovely,
but I removed it because of the story that I explained from my perspective.
So not even a month into my work experience, and the Mojo
team (mobile journalists) were assigned the task of covering a huge event – The
Cape Town International Jazz Festival.
It all started with the arrival of strangers from Durban and
Joburg in our tinny little room, who would go on to be really awesome people
who I learned a lot from and shared one of the most exciting experiences of my
life with.
There was the fun times at the hotel (man that buffet breakfast was life)
Then there was the work of covering the events...
My awkward dancing at Beatenberg...(Don't judge)
My favourite performance (though I am biased because I'm a fan)
Then the fun times of just messing around together...
All kidding aside there were a plethora of moments when we were working really hard. If you want to see exactly how hard we worked, then visit our website www.mojojazz.iol.co.za or our twitter @mojoIOL.
All the blood sweat and tears that went into accomplishing everything we did was worth it because it was really a huge learning experience that forced a group of strangers to work together and, in my opinion, we crossed the finish line better for it.
