I had hoped to write this post sooner, but I have been
extremely busy with work.
The Grahamstown’s National Arts Festival rolled into the
Cape Times #ElectionsTrek and finally Elections itself. I have very actively
lately complaining about how tired I am.
I am actually hoping
to take off soon, but besides my
complaints, my recently work activities did make me realise how fortunate I am.
I had never been on an aeroplane before until I was selected
to go and cover the National Arts Festival in Grahamastown. The whole Arts Fest
experience was so amazing and eyes opening, to quote the slogan it was “11 Days
of Amazing”.
I won’t recap too much of what I did because I did write a
live blog for work which you can find here, but it was a truly wonderful,
sometimes stressful experience where I learned a little more about myself.
It was so great learning about a town that I had never been
to, and if you ever want to learn about a town in a short span of time, the
Arts Fest is it. You have shows across the town, and it forces you to be a
little adventurer.
What I loved most about the whole experience was that it
ignited this desire in me to travel more.
I’ve always had this desire to travel, but it did so in a
completely different way.
I had only been back in Cape Town for about a week before
going away another week-long work trip.
It was part of the Cape Times’ election
coverage where a reporter, a photographer and I travelled to a few of the
smaller towns within our province to find out how people felt about elections.
It was enlightening because you are driving to towns, which
people usually drive past.
We visited 5 towns in a week, and visiting these smaller
towns made me appreciate them. I will never shy away from just stopping into a
little town while on a road trip because you can never know what you might
learn.
The people I have met through my trips, the stories I’ve
heard and the experiences I had are all memories that I will never forget. All
of these things have given me a greater insight into the world around me.
A super awesome friend and I are actually tentatively making plans to go on a Euro-tour in about two years, and I cannot wait. Sure I would love to go overseas before then, but I am not above hard work to get myself there.
I will definitely encourage others to explore the area and
world around them because you never know what awaits, and for myself, it is
something I look forward to exploring further.
For the most part everything is fine, but
then I find myself in a depressive slump because I can’t even deal with it.
I came from a pretty religious background
and the indoctrination of “being gay will lead to hell” certainly pulled number
on me – not helped by the fact that it is still widely preached about.
I even had like a 4 week counselling stint
once upon a moon to help me with making the transition manageable and it helped
but...still the same ghost is keeping me awake.
The thing that also kills off more pieces of my soul
is that people would believe that I would “choose” to be gay.
Yes, I chose to be different because I was
so bored that I thought – “Mmm, let’s be gay”.
I chose to put myself in a position where
people bash on me for my “lifestyle”.
I chose to get that disappointing look from
my mother whenever she remembers that her son is gay.
I chose to make things very difficult for
myself because it was what I wanted.
Yes, I chose to feel like this.
-Sigh-
It’s this constant othering that you have
to put up with and even with the most liberal of people you can still feel at
odd. You become the “gay” person, and lose your individual identity.
When people are talking about romances, it
becomes this “thing” when in an ideal situation it wouldn’t be a thing. It’s
this constant source of distress at times because once people latch on it then
it in many ways can become their main identifier for you.
I often find myself in that “is there a
switch” or the “can I just give back the gay gene” state of mind because I am
just fed up with all the alienation that comes with it.
I even entertain the idea of dating a girl,
which wouldn’t be a bad idea, except for the fact that I would be in a
relationship with someone I don’t truly love and then also putting a lovely
woman into a loveless marriage – which would not be fair because everyone
deserves better than that.
I’ve heard the whole “it gets better”
speech and while I don’t always find myself believing it, I still preach it
because there are so many others who kill themselves just for being different.
So many great young and beautiful minds are lost because of something that cannot
be changed.
Others then have said, “you need to make
more gay friends” and while that may be true, I still feel like a odd man out
there because then it is my neurotic personality that puts me in contrast.
Things are never A + B = C.
It is rather a process of why does the “A”
feel like a “A”? How did the “A” get to the point where he it felt comfortable
with being “A” and who said you can add “B” to get “C”? And, what does
“C” mean?
Things that can seem simple to people, are
not so simple for others.
I don’t try to be difficult or feel the way
I do, it is just that I feel an overwhelming amount.
Maybe it is the: Growing up as a sensitive
kid + the wanting do my best + the single parent mom wanting to provide + daddy issues + the
angst that came with needing to be there when things fell apart + the gay thing
and all its drama = A functioning neurotic gay mess.
Being gay just happens to be the thing
exhausting me today.
Hopefully there will be a time in my life
when I won’t feel like it is but until that day I can just do the best that I
can and soldier on.
Theo. Over and Out.
PS: I feel like I need to honestly consider
therapy/counselling. I have been thinking about it over the past few months,
but it seems like it wouldn’t be the worst thing ever.
Anyone who has seen my most recent posts on social media has been bound to pick up on the fact that I am currently feeling extra emotional.
I am just not in a happy space.
There is a number of contributing factors to this, some of which I don’t really feel like I fully understand. I feel like I am at the beginning of a quarter life crisis – which is actually a legitimate thing surprisingly.
Maybe 2016 is just meant to be a more emotionally challenging year for me? I don’t know if it is true, but it certainly feels that way to me.
The older I seem to get, the more I feel like issues that I thought I had dealt with over the years are rearing their heads causing more shit for myself. Like I had just put paint over the cracks and now they are reopening.
I have no energy to list them all here because I feel like I am a broken record playing the same old depressing sob song on repeat. Woe is me *violins playing in the background*.
Basically, I am just not feeling it.
I’ve recently found myself noticing the generic “How are you doing?” question that always starts every conversation. I, of course, answer with the “Good thanks and you?” without really meaning it because often, people don’t really care how you are and they are just being polite and additionally, it also moves the conversation along.
However, with people who I care enough about, I answer the question honestly, saying: “I don’t know”.
It catches people off guard; and while it could be construed as an attention seeking ploy, that doesn’t matter to me because I am being honest.
It is not that I am uncertain of how I am feeling, but rather I find myself uncertain of why I am feeling the way I do - trying to experience the happiness that I find in everyday life, while simultaneously, feeling a sadness weigh heavy on my heart. It is exhausting.
Further complicating things for myself is that I am a bad liar.
I can be a great liar when I put effort into in, and use my high school drama skills, but I do not have a heart to lie. I would rather avoid telling someone something than lying to them. My face is also pretty easy to read – the emotions are very easy to read on my face.
It takes so much effort for me to fake a “don’t worry, I am fine” and it is something that I have to do when at work. Going on a story or out of the office is a lot easier to “fake” it, because you have to be professional. You are doing a job and meeting people, focusing on them so it is easy to not think about what you are feeling.
However when you are in the office, it is a bit harder.
People will say “Don’t be miserable” and “Smile a little” which I totally understand because newsrooms can be a bit depressing. No one wants to be surrounded by miserable and grumpy people who make things difficult for other people.
I get it.
The issue for me however, is that people need to be a little more sensitive when just blurting out “Don’t be miserable” because someone might be going through something or is not at their best and by telling them to not be miserable, you are being insensitive and inconsiderate about what they are feeling.
Faking happiness can only work so long. It doesn’t always work.
There is a lot happening with me, and it sometimes I don’t always want to speak about it or tell people about it. Sometimes I just want to be and figure my shit out. I actually went for a random 30 minutes walk during my lunch hour recently and it was a walk that had no purpose but it helped me.
If you ask me how I am doing and I go - “I don’t know” - just know that I care enough about you to answer it honestly, but also don’t feel compelled to ask if you don’t want to know, or get upset by a vague non-answer.
I am just rolling with the punches.
Theo. Over and Out.
PS- Do note that if I do look like I do need a hug, I will never object or reject a hug. Hugging is awesome and has been proven to help people feel better. #TeamHugsForTheWin
We live in a very material world, and it’s a world where we sometimes calculate how much someone loves us by how much money they spend on us.
It’s a sad reality, but it is the truth.
Money makes the world go round.
There is someone really special to me, and he is my brother. Not in any biological connection but he is family and I would do anything for him.
I have been friends with Byron since about Grade 10, which makes it 9 years. We joke that it’s both of our longest relationships ever, but it’s true. (I can’t even get a relationship to 5 months, never mind a year... but I digress).
He has always been there for me no matter what, he was always just accepting of me regardless of whatever else was going on.
I was also so lucky that his parents were very accepting of our friendship and welcomed me into their home. I have been through a lot with his family and I am glad to have had them be there for me when things were rough.
Byron's Brother Caleb
It’s been 9 years of ups and downs, good times and bad, and stories that will last us a lifetime.
We don’t see each other often and we don’t spend as much time together when he is around, but we have a bond that will always connect us. It’s what makes him my brother.
Last year October time, I decided that I wanted to say thank you to him with a gift, but I wanted it to be something worth more than just something I bought. So I happened to receive a picture frame and suddenly I had the idea of having it filled with memories and giving it to him.
It took a while for me to finalise the whole thing because it was just an idea and in between all that life was happening. He was living his life that side at his lodge being a game ranger, while I was living mine being a journalist.
I then roped in the help of our friend Chelsea who I am also pretty grateful for, and she was so awesome because without her help I would not have been able to making the picture frame as great as it turned out.
I had planned to have given the gift to him as a Christmas present but because his parents were travelling to Namibia, he decided he would not come down to Cape Town during his week off and so then it just gave me more time to get it sorted.
I contacted his girlfriend around Christmas asking for her help with a few pictures, which was interesting because I had never even met or spoken to the girl before sending that message, but I had heard about her often enough for her to not feel like a total stranger.
She had managed to get pictures of him, without him realising the greater purpose behind it, and sent them to me.
So all the pictures had been chosen and Chelsea was too awesome because she came through and had it finished in time for his next off week.
Then came the issue of finding the time to give it to him.
What usually happens when Byron is in Cape Town on his off week, is that he is busy because all his friends and family all want to see him in some way, but there's not enough time for him to see everyone.
I had thought it was going to happen over the weekend but he had other plans so it wasn’t going to happen then, I had message my friend Chelsea even saying that if he pops around, give it to him because he is so busy and I am barely seeing him, but please just record it and take pictures.
She was like, “No way am I giving him this thing without you being here, fool.”
So she messaged him, and said something along the lines of “there is no way we are hanging out without Theo”, or something a little more tactful, but in any case she got it done. Haha. If there is anything I learned from this, it was that don’t underestimate the power of Chelsea.
So then along came Monday, got home from work, he called, picked me up and off to Chelsea we went to hang out.
Chelsea got us in, and showed me where it was without Byron realising. I had brought along a bow and wanted to stick onto the frame. I had to fake going to the bathroom just so I could get into her room to attach the bow.
After that, I walked out of her room with the frame in my hand anxiously waiting to give it to him. Byron was playing a game on my phone, and when I was standing there awkwardly waiting for his attention, he was all “Wait, I am playing this game”.
I just rolled my eyes and started talking:
I must say that the reaction I got from him was more than what I had hoped. It made me sooo damn happy seeing how much the gift meant to him. As rewarding as it is giving someone something, that tight arm crushing hug, and the total surprise had told me that I had done the right thing.
He loved it.
What I love about our friendship is that we say “I love you” to each other... and we do. I love him because he is family to me. No matter what, he will always be family. He is my brother.
We have both changed so much over the years and become such different people, each living our own lives. He has a life of his own away from me, and as much as I miss him, it makes me happy knowing that he is doing his own thing and enjoying it.
All I want for him is to be happy, and he is.
Also, if I got started on how awesome our friend Chelsea is then I would not end but I just wanted to give her a shout-out for her helping me and being a radically cool person.
The night I gave him the gift, we had spent the rest of the time in Chelsea’s home just hanging out and spending time. It is such moments with friends I will always cherish.
Earlier last week, after him having been without wifi and signal, he finally got back in contact with us, and I got around to asking him if he had hung up the picture frame.
Of course, I received a snarky response from him, but he showed me that it did go up.
It is hung
To my brother Byron - I hope that if you are reading this (you better be), you realise that I do really love you. I am so lucky to have someone like you in my life...you fool. Stay awesome.
Theo. Over and Out.
PS - Your squeamishness whenever I bring up something sexually gay will forever amuse me. *chuckles*
Recently I spent my time filming and recording interviews at SA Menswear Week, where there were hot models for days - that post is forthcoming btw.
It was pretty awesome being in that environment and getting to see what all goes into a fashion show.
However, I got to experience a role reversal when I finally got around to doing my own photo shoot with my awesome friend Chelsea Tobias.
I had been nagging for months to finally get my turn in front of the camera and after my nagging she let me get my way.
So without further ado:
Needless to say that I am of course really happy about how the pictures turned out.
She made me look like a bajillion times hotter than what I actually am so props to her for achieving the impossible.
Not to toot my own horn but I did feel very natural in front of the camera, and while I could claim that it’s just my natural quality.
I do think it’s because I have often had to be on the opposite side of the camera pleading with people to let me film them (for work purposes) and it can be really difficult when people are less than willing.
If someone is not comfortable in front of the camera, it is awfully easy to pick that up.
Nonetheless, it was tonnes of fun. Everyone should do a photo shoot at least once...
Theo. Over and Out.
Edit: Thank you to Chelsea Tobias for giving me permission to use her photos.
Also know that she is busy studying a commerce degree so she may not have the time but if you ever want her to shoot for you then just ask. I am sure she won’t mind...much.
March was all about new experiences because I started my
first ever job.
April has been pretty
much the same...
BUT April was more about feeling extremely out of my depth
and feeling more incompetent than anything really.
Part One: “Why am I so useless?”
After working extremely hard at the Jazz Festival, we pretty
much jumped into the new month by being assigned to spend two weeks in the
newsroom and work on our writing skills.
If there was ever a time to be thrown into the deep end it
was during this time.
With the Jazz fest I could at least take comfort in the fact
that there were other people equally feeling out of their depth and having no
clue what we were doing but we were all stuck in the same boat, doing the best
we could.
The newsroom was nothing like that because I was on my own.
If there is a ever a time to feel useless and like you’re
incompetent spend some time in a newsroom where you are a stranger at your desk
trying to make yourself useful while trying to not be in the way of experienced
reporters.
I was assigned to the newsroom of The Daily Voice when my Cape Mojo team started time in the
newspapers started.
The Daily Voice often gets given this label as not being a
hard hitting newspaper because they deal with stuff that comes across as silly
and deemed not newsworthy. I am aware the publication is labelled as a "tabloid" but that doesn't mean that there isn't anything of importance and value in the paper that the hard hitting newspapers do. The only difference is the angles taken in their stories.
The Daily Voice go out on stories that people
within the Cape Flats are interested in and also want to read about. If a newspaper is meant to connect with its target market
and inform them about what’s happening in their areas then The Daily Voice is
doing exactly what it should it.
It was recently revealed in AMPS figures (which is a big fancy group that does a survey on readership) that in the
second half of 2014, the Daily Voice readership grew from
468 000 daily readers to 516 000.
In climate where newspapers are battling against the internet, that is very impressive.
I can really say that I learned a lot about my time at the newspaper.
Newspapers don’t just appear every morning magically created
for your consumption, in fact journalists go out the day before either on
stories that they were assigned by their editor or, what is often the case,
they go out on stories they’ve been informed about from contacts and people who
shared the information with them.
They scout out information about their stories and then once
they think there is enough they go out in search of what the true story is,
from all the relevant sources.
A super funny reporter I sat opposite.
This can be quite a laborious process and sometimes things
don’t always go your way but you do the best you can.
Part Two: “What to do when opportunity
knocks?”
I had been shadowing the reporters for about a day when an
opportunity for me to write my first article came up.
It wasn’t that a story was assigned to me or anything, it
happened because I took a chance.
This is just my version of how I remembered it happening:
Journalist:
“I still have to file both these
stories when I get back to the office.”
Me:
(Nervously)
“Uhm...I can help...uhm... if you want. I’ll
write one and you can write another if you want?”
Photographer:
(Jokingly)
“Hey don’t come and try to steal
food from [journalist’s] mouth, freelancers don’t a set salary like you. They
get paid per article.”
Me:
“Oh sorry, of course I don’t mean
to do that –laughs awkwardly- I just
thought that I could help with the workload.”
Journalist:
“We can share the byline.”
Photographer:
“Can you? Do you still get your
normal rate?”
Journalist:
“I still get my normal rate
whenever I share a byline with [another journalist] so it’s fine. Which one do
you want to do?”
Me:
“I feel more confident doing the
first story the first one we went out on so I can do that?”
Journalist:
“That’s fine. You can do the
first then just send it to me when you’re done so I can have a look over it?”
Me:
“Thanks.”
And that was basically how it happened.
I took the chance of speaking up and saying,” I don’t mind
helping; I can do it” and that was how I landed my first byline.
As soon as we got back to the office I had to write my
article and while I had all my notes, I had no clue how I was going to do it.
Eventually I typed down what I had into a coherent sentence
which then into paragraphs and it led to a completed story.
Part Three: “Who does the editing?”
Once done, I emailed what I had to the journalist and sat
beside them as they make hectic revisions, learning about the newspaper’s style
in the process:
1.The fact that they prefer to have more quotes of
what the people actually said instead of you telling the reader what they said.
I quickly learned to write fast and take down what some said. I would come to use
my phone as a recorder because that just helps you so much to get down what
someone says verbatim.
2.Framing the story in a particular way, meaning
that instead of having one angle, you use another.
3.Getting a comment from the official
organisation/people to add in another side to the story.
4.Making sure you have the correct spelling of
things – Sidenote, this is vitally important you have to make sure you get
someone’s name and surname spelt exactly correct, make sure you get where they
are from and also their age.
5.A journalist’s note taking skills have is where
your credibility can live or die. If someone wants to sue you, you’re note
taking could be the very thing that saves you.
The edit the journalist did helped a lot, and while my
original story changed a lot to the one they sent to the editor my name still
remained in the byline because I had contributed to the story.
I thought that what I had ended up contributing was a waste but
the journalist thanked me because I helped save them a lot of time. So our
article was then emailed to the editor.
Interesting to note that the article that appeared in paper
had also undergone significant edits to it as well but there was also quite a
large chunk of what we did and in the end we received our shared byline.
One that would be my first.
Part Four: “When? Now??”
Sure some see a solo byline as their first, but I see the
shared one as my first because it taught me so much and helped me when I
finally wrote my first solo byline which funny enough came the following week.
I arrived early in the office because it was just something
I did. I could have arrived late because everyone only got into the office
between 09:20 and 11:00. I was in by 08:40 so I just read the papers and tried
be aware of what was happening.
One this particular morning, a photographer came in and he
was about 5 minutes in the office when
he came up to me and said.
Photographer:
“I heard Tony Yengeni was making
an appearance in the magistrate court today and no other journalist is in. I’m
not sure if it’s something the paper would be interested in but I say we take a
chance and go? If we wait too long then the story could be over already, it
could be over already, but at least let’s go see.”
Me:
“Uhm, okay.”
Now while that response seems calm, my mind was racing at a
mile a minute.
I had no clue what I was doing, no clue of what I was going
to do when I got at the court and no clue of how I would get the story but
adrenalin and nerves were rushing through my body so I just went along.
As we made our way to the magistrate court, the photographer
was giving me a crash course in court reporting:
1.Make sure you nod to the judge as you enter.
This is very important.
2.Sometimes things might be confusing if you’re
arriving late so don’t be scared to ask fellow journalists what is happening.
3.Put your phone off or keep it on silent because
you can be in deep shit if they catch you recording anything.
4.All the information is in the court, you just
need to know the correct places to go find it.
And he explained more stuff which I have forgotten because I
was like “oh my fuck, this is happening.”
So we get to the court and then he says well go for it.
I’m like “oh okay, shit.”
I then rush inside only to see “oh damn I had to hand in
everything” so I dash back drop my bag and only keep my wallet, phone, pen and
notebook on me as I have to dash to courtroom 16 –which we learned from another
journalist outside.
I got in and as the security guard is patting me down, and he
feels a tag (which I forgot to take off). I explain it’s my UCT tag and then he
starts a chat about the fact that I went to UCT. It was great but his timing
sucked.
I got inside and then I had to find my way.
I turned down a passage and then got the
vibe I was going the wrong way, I turned back and stopped at a security desk
asking which way I had to go to get to the Tony Yengeni court case. She
directed me down the alley, and as I enter I see a throng of people coming my
way surrounding someone.
I had no clue what Tony Yengeni looked like, well in my
subconscious I probably did but in my conscious mind I had no clue. I turned
back and followed the people because my gut was all go with them.
I exited the court with all the journalists and I was about
to follow the man who I thought to be Mr Yengeni but the reporters were by his
lawyer so I just stuck with them.
I knew there was no way I was going to catch all the
information as quickly so I immediately did the only thing I could think to do
and just pulled out my phone started recording everything.
The fact that I did that earned me my first solo byline.
The other reporters asked questions and I made sure to catch
everything while I was totally confused because they were using lawyer terminology
I just recorded everything.
The lawyer finished and I had no clue what his name was so I
asked one of the other reporters who told me his name and that was it.
In 10 minutes everything was done.
The photographer took his picture and so we just went back
to the office.
My editor hadn’t been in for two days and I now had a story
with which I had no clue what to do with. The editor of the paper was in and so
I summoned the courage to make myself known to him and tell him what I had.
He said okay and that I should write him a short piece on
it.
I then got down to listening to the recording transcribing
everything while opening a million tabs on Google Chrome so I could research
more about the story (something which would have helped had I had the time to
do it before hand but I didn’t).
After that I remembered, I had no clue what the editor meant
by “short piece” so after I asked him he said 200-220 words.
After that I got to it and finished my story within an hour
and 15 minutes making sure I had everything I needed. Understanding everything
that the lawyer spoke and getting input from another journalist to frame the
article in an interesting way.
That was it.
My story got filed and appeared in the paper.
All because I happened to be in the office early and was the
only one there that by pure coincidence I managed to land my first solo byline.
Part 5: “Where am I now?”
The rest of my time at the paper had my shadowing reporters
and even writing two other articles when the opportunities presented
themselves.
It was a great experience and taught me so much. I had made
a few mistakes and made sure to learn from them, but it was a experience that
forced me to go out of my comfort zone.
If there has been anything that this month has taught me
it’s that I have to embrace the awkward moments.
My job is filled with them- attending the funeral of someone
I never knew or met, asking strangers questions and for their names and ages,
getting into awkward places (like kneeling in front of people to hold a
microphone, and sometimes that people may be the Mayor of Cape Town) and many
other awkward instances that will continued to happen.
My only next thing to learn is to not give a shit about
them.
That doesn’t mean I won’t be respectful and treat some
situations carefully, but I just need to focus on doing my job.
I am only two months into being a journalist and it’s been
like climbing a Kilimanjaro without any preparation, but that aside, everything
I have been doing is preparing me to become better equip to be not just a
journalist but a good one too.
If I’m being honest, I feel like I could have done more
while I spent time at the news papers. As I look back at the time I’m still not
entirely sure how I could’ve done that, but I feel like I could have done more.
I also feel like I need to rediscover how to be curious.
I used to be a very curious kid and want to know what was
happening but I was raised that being nosy about other people’s business was
wrong. Now I feel like I have found the curious person again, he is still there
because I still feel glimpses of him peeking through whenever something
exciting happens.
I just need to allow him to come out more. (Yes, I’m
speaking about aspects of myself in third person, it happens)
As a journalist, a skill you need is to be able to ask the
right questions.
An important lesson I
learned at University and The Daily Voice is that you need to remember your
5W’s and H:
1.Why?
2.What?
3.Who?
4.When?
5.Where?
6.How?
These will do really help and they exist for a reason*.
Sometimes sticking to these will lead you to a story that could give you the
edge.
Part 6: How to Mojo...
After finishing my time at the papers, I rejoined the Mojo
(Mobile Journalism) group of the company and it was more difficult that it needed
to be.
I would pop in and check in on my fellow colleagues while we
spent time at the paper but someone our two weeks apart had left us feeling
disjointed.
Maybe it was the fact that we had just clicked with each
other when we had so many other people join us for jazz fest and we had to
learn how to work with strangers and not get so much time together with each
other; then we had two weeks apart which just left us to do our own thing but
either way, coming together again felt weird and we were out of sync with each
other.
A week has passed and I feel like we’re good again. We are
getting back to where we were with each other and getting familiar with one
another again but such is life, sometimes things can take a while.
A video I helped put together...
The fact that we were out of sync with each other made me
feel a bit weird and uncomfortable too but sometimes you just have to have a
word with yourself in the mirror and “pull yourself towards yourself”.
I am excited for what the next few months hold ahead for us.
If the past two months are indicative of anything it is that
expect the unexpected and that life will had you unexpected moments that lead
to wonderful experiences so don’t be scared to step out of your comfort zone
because that is really where the magic happens.
Now if only I could remember that...
Theo. Over and
Out.
*PS - The order is
wrong on that but on purpose because I wanted it to match the sections of the
blog post. (><)
Also in case you are
wondering since I removed the journalist’s name from the byline in the pic, I
am very grateful to the journalist because the person is really so so lovely,
but I removed it because of the story that I explained from my perspective.
I have always believed that you experience certain phases
for a time and then you move on to the next big thing.
Life happens in such a way that you have primary school,
then high school (if you don’t drop out) followed by university (if you can
afford it) and finally you start working.
I have started the work phase of my life, and it’s been an interesting
time for me.
Previously I’ve been asked if I ever miss school/varsity now
that I’m working and honestly I don’t – but only because of being the type of person
I am.
I make the best of my time in the certain phases of my life
then when the time comes to move on, I do.
I was never saddened to matriculate because I did the
numerous school plays, was a prefect and enjoyed all the high school moments
(the highs and lows). With university, I was so happy when I graduated because
it was a huge achievement for me.
I wouldn’t have mind doing Honours sure, but the finances
weren’t there so I had to move on from UCT and if I’m being honest, I am glad
that I did.
If you had asked me
this in February then my answer would have been very different because
unemployment fatigue was setting in, but now however, I love where I am at.
Where may that be you ask?
Being a responsible and working adult for the first time in my life.
In one of my previous posts – Being the Poor Friend – I
explained why I had never had a job before. Now since I’ve had time to settle
in at work and learn what being a working adult means, I realised that I am
glad I never worked before because I wouldn’t have handled the responsibility
well.
With everything happening in my life previously, I would’ve
had a breakdown.
It took for me learn about myself and then endure the hardships
of figuring out I’m not straight (with all of that baggage) for me to finally be where I am today.
I was a very gentle kid growing up who would cry for
everything, so life needed to toughen me up. Sure I still have some way to go
but I happy with my progress, I’m not as fragile as what I once was.
Anyway, back to the point of this – working.
Work is really hard guys, and sooo exhausting... but mostly
it’s really rewarding.
When I got the news that I was accepted into the internship
programme at Independent Media, my whole attitude towards it was that I want to
learn as much as I can. If the 6 months of my internship comes and they happen
to let me go, I know that I will have received everything out of the experience
that I wanted.
I know this already because the first month of work has
already taught me so much.
I won’t lie, I’m a little worried that things at work will go
pear shaped but that is because I’m neurotic. Oddly enough it is not the big
dramas that freak me out, rather the small little things that trip me up.
I feel like I’m not smart enough or hard working enough but
I know that that is just my self-doubt talking.
I need to remind myself to stay calm and get out of my own
way.
This past month has been filled with lots of laughs, getting
to meet and interview new people and having some of the best experiences in my
life so far:
-The late nights where literally the only thing
keeping you going was the energy of those around you.
-Learning about the media industry and that there
are long painstaking hours that go into producing a newspaper has been eye
opening.
-How to write articles, because they aren’t the
same thing as essays.
-Operating new equipment and what works best for
different mediums.
-The hot photographers that you see and on occasion
want to do the dirty with. (That one blonde haired beauty from EWN though!!! I
would marry him.)
-The really cool people I get to work with in my
team who are starting to feel like a second family.
Mojo so strong, you'll fall under our spell.
All of the above have been really invaluable experiences so
far and I have loved it.
Sure there have been a few low points but that comes with
everything in life – sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down. You just
have to keep rolling with the punches.
I have no clue where this journey I’m currently on will take
me but I’m eager to find out.
Can I also just say that I’m damn proud of myself of surviving through March because finances
were tight and my phone was fucking out so I had no contact with my friends
compared to what I usually do. I didn’t have them to keep me motivated all the
time. I really really missed them, but I also know that I can count of myself
too...
I made myself a list of goals in January that I needed to
achieve before the end of this year and I will share them with you now (don’t
judge):
1.Employment
2.Bank Account (one that lasted and that doesn’t
get closed because of no money being put into it)
3.Drivers Licence
4.Passport
Those are 4 goals, two of which I have already crossed off.
They seem very silly to me now but when I wrote that at the
start of this year, they meant something. The reason why there were only four
was because I thought it would take me forever to cross off the first one.
I seriously doubted that I would achieve them.
The next thing on my list is my driver’s licence which I’m
daunted by (read: shit scared and pissing my pants) but before the end of this
year I will accomplish it.
2015 has surprised me in many ways, and I look forward to
what else it has in store for me.
Who knows maybe I may finally get to say that I’ve finally
been on an airplane before the end of it? Or even find myself a fiancée?
Theo. Over and Out.
PS – I’m half joking about the fiancée thing; I am very much
want to be about letting love happen naturally (well as naturally as what my personality will allow). For now I am focusing on myself and work at the moment,
but I can only keep the hopeless romantic in me within his cage for 80% of the
time.
So not even a month into my work experience, and the Mojo
team (mobile journalists) were assigned the task of covering a huge event – The
Cape Town International Jazz Festival.
It all started with the arrival of strangers from Durban and
Joburg in our tinny little room, who would go on to be really awesome people
who I learned a lot from and shared one of the most exciting experiences of my
life with.
There was the fun times at the hotel (man that buffet breakfast was life)
Then there was the work of covering the events...
My awkward dancing at Beatenberg...(Don't judge)
My favourite performance (though I am biased because I'm a fan)
Then the fun times of just messing around together...
All kidding aside there were a plethora of moments when we were working really hard. If you want to see exactly how hard we worked, then visit our website www.mojojazz.iol.co.za or our twitter @mojoIOL.
All the blood sweat and tears that went into accomplishing everything we did was worth it because it was really a huge learning experience that forced a group of strangers to work together and, in my opinion, we crossed the finish line better for it.
